Say it anyway you'd like but the end result is the same. I have GOT to get myself into a better place with my finances. I know exactly what I need to do and I know exactly where I can cut. Why is this such a problem?
Well, I could lay the blame in any number of places: poor financial skills paired with endlessly easy sources of credit from day 1 of college (or actually, from the summer of my 18th year onward). Or maybe it was my choice to move out, support myself on an hourly wage, and try to enjoy my early 20s as best I could (concerts, dinner out, new clothes now and then - basically living a tiny bit beyond my means and letting those tiny bits add up). Or maybe it was the putting myself through college thing (and thus charging my junior college tuition and taking out student loans for university). I could also blame the situation that put me in a bigger, nicer apartment with bigger rent and utilities that I now pay on my own instead of splitting two ways.
All of those things could be where I lay the blame. But what good does that do?
I'm ready to put the past behind me and truly buckle down, kick my credit card balances in the you-know-what and get out of the hole I dug myself.
I'm so tired of being 29 years old with a good paying job and still anxiously staring at the total on the checkout screen. Or cringing when the bill comes after a nice dinner with friends. Or saying no to the idea of taking a weekend trip to visit someone out of town who I love and miss. Or feeling bad when it's time to give someone a gift because my bank account has dwindled to nearly nothing. Etc., etc. etc. I'm so damn tired of it.
I want to live my life without this unnecessary burden. Which is not to say I want to be "rich" or have the capacity to dine at Niche every night of the week if I wanted (and I'm not sure I want to. Nor does my waistline). I just want to be able to relax about money, not fear an overdraft, or dread logging into my account, and build up some savings so when things like new tires or property tax or multiple birthdays/weddings, etc. loom, I'm good with it.
And maybe be able to treat myself now and then, guilt-free. Like that super cute green wool coat I've got my eye on over on my Pinterest board...
All of this means that once and for all I have to stop making excuses for why I can spend this little bit here and there on my credit card, why I can't take this chunk of cash out of my savings account, why I should think twice about shopping when there is food in my pantry and fridge. It's not going to be fun necessarily, and it's not going to be easy - but it IS going to be worth it to one day feel like I'm in control again. Holding oneself accountable is the hardest thing to do. But I'm putting my foot down once and for all.
Anyone got any other euphemisms? I think this post could use a few more ;)
No comments:
Post a Comment