Weekends

I have this love/hate thing with weekends. More love when work is tough, more hate when they're either filled (or conspicuously not filled) with things I used to do only not by myself. They can be hard to get through - and I'd say most days my range of feelings varies like crazy. If things don't quite go as planned I don't take it as well as I ought to because sometimes those two days can seem so incredibly precious.

I fully realize I should just learn how the hell to take it easy, relax on the weekends and not feel guilty about anything that does or does not get done, but that is exactly the problem. I'm not quite sure how to. I can tell myself to not worry a million times but the voice on the other shoulder will remind me of all the to-dos I should be crossing off and people I should be seeing.

None of these issues seem to be made much easier by the fact that I'm pushing full force ahead with my get the hell out of credit card debt ASAP plan. I just can not stomach the fact that I could have balances on my credit cards at age 30 when I've had a great, good paying job since age 26 - but unless I really get it together, I might. That's disappointing and a source of underlying stress.

So, some day I look forward to enjoying weekends again with great anticipation and a carefree attitude about what I do or do not do. Until then, I'm just going to try not to whine about cleaning the kitchen or how much lighter fluid my neighbor seems to require to make 2 pork steaks on his Weber. It's a start.