Expectations

For some reason, well, probably for several reasons, I never caught the holiday spirit this year. Weather, finances, school, distractions abound. Not being a religious person probably has something to do with it as well but there are a lot of people who get totally caught up in the secular aspects of the holiday which is perfectly fine but it turns out I'm just not one of them. Not now, at least.

But I'm feeling ok about, I don't feel sad, I'm not depressed about the holidays, being "alone" etc. Sure there are moments I think it would be more than nice to have someone to drag along to parties and be dragged along to their family parties. Sure I miss the old way, the traditions that are no more. But not enough to make me feel down or like the absence of those things is a burden.

And I think it's because I've tried to manage my expectations. It's something that's always hard to do when events are on the calendar (whether it's a standing event like Christmas or an upcoming vacation or party). It's easy to get caught up in the prep and making things turn out just perfect, planning and thinking things through until expectations are sky-high. And then when reality rolls around and things surely don't go as planned it can be super easy to crash and burn and feel as though everything is ruined.

I don't want to feel that way anymore. And I'm quite guilty of the offense, have been for pretty much as long as I can remember. While I may never be someone who can easily and effortlessly go with the flow, I know I can be better about just enjoying life as it comes and keeping perspective. What may have once seemed like utter disaster is probably something that can be laughed away if I just stop and think about it. Or at least something that can be handled without a breakdown or breaking out my five-star pout. It's just not necessary.

There could also be a little defensive thinking here - having had some super big expectations dashed maybe I also want to protect myself, my heart. But it's a conscious choice I'm working on and overall I think it's a beneficial quality to develop. Life's certainly too short to pout about Christmas. They even wrote a song about it.