Too uninspired to come up with a title.

I'm tired. Still. I have a decent caffeine buzz thanks to the cappucino I just downed, but that hasn't changed the fact that my mind is worn out. I am not sleeping well anymore, and I can't seem to get any work done anywhere because there are no comfortable places to spread out and work without the interruptions at the apartment or the noise of a million obnoxious Italian kids at the lounge at school, or the disgusting lack of air circulation at the library.

I got up early this morning to get to the lab and try to compose my paper before it got busy. I had no focus, still, and stared at the screen with nothing.

But I think the real problem is that I sort of feel hypocritical about all of this. I mean, here I am, little American girl who has been taking three weeks of classes in Irish Studies and now I am supposed to have some sort of opinion to write a paper that actually matters? Who am I? What do I really know about this country? I wouldn't want anyone who lived here their whole life to read whatever nonsense I come up with. I mean, what authority do I have to theorize about someone else's country and culture? I got my first grade back last night, from my first Lit and Film test, and I got an A. Not everyone did, so in terms of my fellow American students, I supposed I earned it. But is that just because they are grading us as American students who three weeks ago knew nothing about their country, aside from it's exportation of fine alcoholic beverages? Probably.

I feel like a fake. The papers I write back home are all based on my own knowledge from years of studying on the subjects. This doesn't seem at all the same. Everyone BS's a little in their papers, but I feel like everything I'm saying is just mimicked out of the three texts I have been reading, and that I have no legitimate personal knowledge or experiences yet.

And I feel pressured to do just as well on the next tests, even though I'm not sure these grades even transfer, because I know that I am capable of coming up with A material. Even if it does seem somehow undeserved.